Christmas Bloody Christmas – Film Review

It’s Christmas Eve and fiery record store owner Tori Tooms just wants to get drunk and party, until the robotic Santa Claus at a nearby toy store goes haywire and makes her night more than a little complicated. Santa embarks on a rampant killing spree through the neon-drenched snowscape, ultimately forcing Tori into a blood-splattered battle for survival.

Before watching Christmas Bloody Christmas, I would’ve thought that a holiday slasher from director Joe Begos would’ve been an absolute treat, seeing as how he’s practically known for making some of the most stylistically intense and in-your-face films on the market.

The idea of a robotic Santa Claus murdering a bunch of people sounds like a recipe for a heck of a good time, but here, that was sadly not the case. Christmas Bloody Christmas is easily Begos’ worst film and not only that, but it’s one of the worst films I’ve seen all year, period.

It only runs for a total of eighty-seven minutes including credits and yet it takes at least well over thirty minutes for anything remotely interesting to occur. The first fifteen or so minutes are spent with some of the most insufferably annoying characters I’ve seen all year.

How are we supposed to root for our leads when they’re introduced as idiotic, annoying people who don’t care about anyone other than themselves? I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I wanted these characters to get killed off right away just so I wouldn’t have to see them again.

This film also contains some of the cringiest dialogue I’ve heard all year. To be honest with you, I’m not sure why Begos didn’t just make this a straight-up slasher with a robotic Santa and nothing else. Nobody really expected anything else from this movie, but instead, Begos took up half the film centering on annoying characters that you’ll instantaneously hate.

Are the performances good here? Yes. Riley Dandy, Sam Delich, Jonah Ray, and Abraham Benrubi are all great in their respective roles, but their characters are anything but enjoyable to watch. It’s almost as if Begos intentionally wanted to craft the most unlikable set of characters in one movie.

Even the kills themselves aren’t all that special here, either. While they’re definitely not bad or poorly executed, there’s also nothing about them that stands out or makes them different from the millions of other slashers out there. You’ll find yourself just kind of staring at the screen waiting to be blown away, but it never happens.

Christmas Bloody Christmas wastes an incredibly fun concept and instead focuses far too long on painfully annoying characters while also brandishing some of the worst dialogue in any film this year.